Invisible Boat

Yesterday Mom was discharged from the hospital.

Before Mom was admitted to the hospital, before she knew that she was in for a long haul at the hospital, she spoke about a dream - a dream where dad spoke to Mom and took her to a paradise. The scenery which mom described was beautiful.

Dad has been gone for more than thirteen years. I miss dad and often I have seen him my dreams. I have dreamt that we lead absolutely normal lives as if he was alive. Sometimes I dreamt that he watched over me like a guardian. But we never talked.

I have many cherished memories with him. On the other hand, Mom had both kind of memories with him - bitter and sweet. Maybe, it was the reason they talked to each other.

I could have explained to Mom about the science of dream then, but I didn't. I couldn't break her reverie. She needed it.

After Mom got admitted to the hospital, I had series of dreams which were scary, funny, and weird.

These dreams drained me, worried me, and ironically, one of them had me in splits. I drew the line here and applied science to dreams.

It was the only way to defeat and master my fear.

And then, I’d a dream yesterday night.

I walked with my partner on a marshy land, among the darkness of dead green mangroves and sea plants, we heard the waves beat against the shore, happy and madly in love.

We soon were on the shore of a creek, and it was along this creek we found a boat, a boat in which we could escape to a boundless horizon.

In the backdrop of a grey sky, quiet sea, and an absent sun was this boat, anchored.

The boat had a wooden outline, when looked upon closely it resembled a broken dried up branch of a tree, which might have washed up on the shore but I could feel the boat, he could too.

But the boat wasn’t there, it was an invisible boat, yet both of us saw the exact same boat.

And then he said, “You know you should write.Finish what you began.”

I smiled.

I woke up.

I could explain the logic and science of this dream and I am sure you could too, but don't break my reverie yet.

Hear it from a loser

Yeah !! you heard it right. I am a loser , I finally lost 6 kgs, after almost "struggling" for 4 years finally manged to lose weight & and now I walk much faster.As per my BMI , I need to lose 8 more kgs . You see 4 years is long time & not being able reduce could demotivate  anyone. The worst part was to end up giving excuses for same why can't I lose, especially when you hear from your friends , that lady lost in three months, yeah the other one she took 6 months and the worst case scenario was your own colleague lost 10 kgs in 6 months .

First ,  if people around me were able to do it in a half year, lets see why I took lose a weight in 4 years. The  first reason is I am lazy . I believe in finding an easier way to do things. It took me  4  years to find an easier way. No, I didn't do  any kind of crash  diet. Neither  any fairy grant me wish . The easier way is to lose it with determination. I lost is because I exercised a lot . I spent 2-3 hrs in gym. At times husband would call me crazy but I  would do anything to lose that extra flab . I also
indulged in power Yoga and Pranayam . It had huge positive impact on me .

I was addressing  100 odd people in an auditorium . All were lauding me and  suddenly someone pushed me from  behind . I fell from the stage. I saw him sitting on bed  and grinning at me . Well,
being loser is a long cherished dream.

To Write or Not to Write

Yesterday, I found a seat within first two stops of boarding the bus.  The bus was so crowded that the probability of finding a seat early was almost in 2-3 decimals i.e, 0.02 or .01 but it turned out to be my lucky day; in addition to finding an early seat soothing music was also played on the bus. It's an apt start to a working day. As I settled, my thoughts slowly drifted to the conversation with a friend I had a few days ago. I told her,

"I won't be writing a book anymore, probably that's not something I want to do now,"  the reasons were numerous including people might call my book dud, something I am not ready to digest. The concept is there, but to take it forward is one problem, Grammar is another problem and it's been more than a year since I begun writing it here and there.

Then a thought occurred to me, what if I finish the book two/three years down the line. Well, It would be a great achievement. Well, will I publish? Umm no, Maybe I will send it to friends and then the kite began to fly.

Yeah, Maybe I will publish it. Maybe the book will be so good that I will have offers from eons of publishing houses. It would be an instant hit. Suddenly my self-conscience shook me, the little girl on my shoulder said,

"Isn't your kite flying too high. I told her, of course not. It's just a beginning," She also tried to reason me with a Panchtantra story of a brahmin, who broke his milk pot in sleep while dreaming about how he would change his life from that single pot by selling milk from that, then buying one goat, two goats & so forth. I told her,

"Chill, there is no pot around. Let me fly this kite."

So, the book would become an instant hit, a bestseller even. Both  Karan Johar & Anurag Kashyap would want to work with me. I could also foresee a Hollywood studio buying rights for my book. Money! How much money will I get? Oh be it, it will come. Wait, what if copyrights are bought by publishing house, oh my content would be their property. Here  I made a mental note to self on finding out how these publishing house writer relationship worked . Especially financial aspect of the same.  Sachin would invite me for a dinner with him & discuss the book. I can also be the honorary guest on KBC, and yes Mr. Bachchan would host it. And then the  conductor shouted,

"Virvani, Oberoi, Dindoshi,"  I had arrived at my stop.

In few minutes, office.I was standing in front of the large gate of my office. The grind must start and the kite must stop flying. I was back working on SAP, excel & some Marketing work too.The day was quite exhausting. Towards the end of the day, I received this article. IIt'san interview with Ben Affleck, Matt Damon & the cast -crew of the Good Will  Hunting . Its mainly about Matt & Ben's journey in getting a movie made which they wrote & wanted to act in it. It was their dream.


It took 4 years to write that story & 4 years to get it made. Also, when the story was up in the market there was a bidding war for the same. Finally, they sold it to Creative studios for a handsome amount. But they hardly knew, their journey had just begun.So in real life, it takes little longer to fly a kite in the sky.

 Their journey to find someone would produce it, some guy who would direct and other characters for the movie who would want to act in it. They had their share of challenges.Then the making the movie itself. The logistic & commercial aspect. Matt & Ben literally cried when the movie went on the floor. The movie was one of the highest grosser, had academy award nominations. Had it not been Titanic in that year, they would have swept more awards. I was in awe of both the guys. It had me thinking maybe its not a bad idea to write a book.

I still had some more time left and after reading few posts, I read this.  A movie/docu recco from the moifight club , a blog on films. The story was of a construction worker who cuts an album, which sold only six copies in whole America and then he went back to his life of obscurity. However, in  South Africa, his music starts getting a cult following. The word goes around that he is dead, some fans decide to find out what happened to him. Interesting . Another possible result for a good book.

The day had ended. Sun took an early day off due to winter & the darkness was coming on its whole. In the washroom, I looked into the mirror and I wondered where my journey would end; in obscurity or in fame. An answer I am not ready for, yet.  To Write or Not to Write remained the question, yet again.