Ants , Pain and Desires

  (I)

 Ever wondered how a society of ants would function if they break centuries old culture of discipline ??   Why am I  suddenly concerned  is , I spotted such an ant , who I suppose had lost her trail and was  searching it  . Yes , I had a lot  of time to observe an ant in a natural ecological system at Shegaon. I was at Anand Sagar  , which is a 350 Acre Spiritual place and also a water reservoir project built by the Shegaon Trust . Tranquility of Anand Sagar gave me  an opportunity to observe this ant . I was sitting under a tree while waiting for my husband who went to buy some refreshments.

  Now this ant at Shegaon , was holding a big chunk of a food particle and was desperately looking for a trail . The Ant during her quest , never did let go of food particle while it  traced  various path back home . Ironically ,the Ant reminded me of today's society . How we are engaged in finding our own "big" chunk without paying hid to today's society . Sometimes not even society , we miss our own people .  I am so busy for running in competition or for money , i.e, I almost become clueless about  what people would like , who are close to me . This Ant , who was trying to get back home 'appeared' desperate just as we are often to find peace of mind .

Once someone asked me ," how much money you need? " and I realised how poor am at managing finances . I'd never given thought to that question, I mean ofcourse I do have a vision of kind of lifestyle I want to lead in future . However , I've never thought what kind of a cash I need in future. So with current messed up financial condition,the questions started bothering me. Unfortunately I could never quantify the amount I need for "settled" future life . I kept thinking about the question which eventually was answered by the Ant  .

(II)

I met someone , who was rich not by birth but by virtue of her own hardwork .  She didn't even had education to back her up .  What she had been through , I wish no woman is ever subjected to it .  I had heard her story from a  lot of people . When she herself narrated it , my eyes were full of tears . Unfortunately alcoholism and domestic violence is still a way of life in modern India . She told me , all she wants is her kids to be financially stable and hence she was investing at right places ( Real estate and Gold) .

What I saw was a woman who longed for a life where she had a happy family like everyone else... She was like the traveler in desert who seeks water , but  what he follows is "mirage".  Sometimes enduring pain is better idea than running from it.

(III)

In life it often happens that  we long for something. Infact recently I realised I spent so much time on an unfulfilled desire that , it eventually started affecting me. Though consciously I don't desire it anymore , my subconscious mind  stored this information and successfully brought it out when I was most upset .

It disturbed me alot . No, not the "unfulfilled" desire but the thought that how my  mind successfully links two unrelated instances. I wondered about how do I get rid of the situation .  And I am glad I found an answer .