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Friday, August 17, 2012

Guide to Blockbuster Movie During Eid Week

Dear Producer ,

Follow below steps for humongous Blockbuster  during Eid , Oh you missed this year's Eid release , you may do this next Eid :-

1) Sign Salman Khan . Yes thats your first step .  Its Ok, if you don't have story , director, writer , cameramen . You just need Salman Khan , I repeat Salman Khan.

2) Actress - Sign anyone of them :- Katrina , Kareena Priyanka  , it doesn't really matter.

3) Oh , you still don't have story or a writer . Doesn't matter .  These are substeps to storyline :
   
a) Grand Entry for Salman , Opening with a fight sequence .
                     
b) Two or three songs,what item songs? Yeah you can have that one too starring Salman Khan  .                        
    
 c) Two/three romantic scenes around songs .
           
 d) 3-4 Fight sequences /Chase sequences . Salman Khan jumping around rooftops , trains .

 e) Oh , you need Villian , corrupt officer so that Salman beats a shit out of them . Yeah Aditya Pancholi will do ( Remember BodyGuard , yeah he starred in it.)

 f) No one dies , except Villian . Note :- Dabbang  was an exception where Dimple & anupam kher died.

4) Director , Editor , Screenplay writer ,cinematographer . Take any one you want . No , it doesn't matter . Sequel to Dabbang is directed by Arbaaz , that should tell you . Also Sohail is also a director.

5) Music should be good , Sajid Wajid Know , what Bhai prefers.

6) Book all the screens on that weekend . Shift other movies to night slot , don't give Audience a choice.

7) Hit delivered.

8) Don't forget to send me a consultancy cheque.

Guaranteed Results or Money back .


 Vanita          

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